


walk a mile in my shoes (see the ghosts who say hello to me)

by makemelovely



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Dead Bianca, F/M, Future Fic, Ghosts, Heavy Angst, M/M, Minor Nico di Angelo/Will Solace, Minor Violence, Nico sees ghosts, One-Sided Nico di Angelo/Percy Jackson, Sad Nico di Angelo, Seeing the dead, all of them - Freeform, all ur faves are dead, also he uses a flip phone, also nico drinks vodka, and that's really shown in this fic, aspects of hoo but mainly pjo, demigods die young, like pjo happened and characters from hoo, seeing ghosts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 06:19:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14099130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makemelovely/pseuds/makemelovely
Summary: Nico di Angelo, and how demigods die young.





	walk a mile in my shoes (see the ghosts who say hello to me)

When Nico is a little boy his sister dies. He rips a hole in the ground, he can speak to ghosts, and he’ll live longer than any of his friends.

 

He doesn’t know that last fact until much, much later.

 

The first ghost he speaks to is his sister.

 

**_I. Bianca_ **

 

He’s stepping into the shower on a Sunday morning when he sees her. The sun had fallen on his face that morning, his curtains drawn just enough to allow a sliver of sun to kiss his pale face. He had groaned, and then swung the curtain enough to make sure the sun couldn’t creep in again. He had rolled out of bed, wincing at the cold wooden floors of the Hades Cabin. Nico is sixteen, and he hates the gods. Nico is sixteen, and he needs to shower. He hasn’t done it in, what, a week? His hair is greasier than those McDonald’s hashbrowns he had eaten yesterday.

 

He yanks his black skinny jeans down, which pulls his boxers along. He frowns distastefully at his scrawny limbs even as he tugs his black t-shirt off. He grabs a white towel and ties it around his waist, frowning at how his skin matches the whiteness of the towel. Nico trudges into the bathroom, grumbling when he catches a glimpse of his reflection in the bathroom mirror. He looks like death, but worse. Much worse. He steps into the shower, and immediately drops his towel. He curses a long string of words that would make Hazel cower, and frantically snatches at the towel. Once he’s sure it’s secured, he looks back up.

 

Bianca stands in front of him, eyes averted as if to make him feel better about his now gone modesty. “Fuck, Bianca, what the hell are you doing here?” Nico asks his very dead sister.

 

Bianca giggles, and for a second Nico can pretend she’s alive. She’s just laughing at one of his shitty jokes or a meme he’d show her on the phone Leo had built for him. It didn’t attract monsters which was, y’know, a huge plus. But then Nico remembers that he’s in his shower, and Bianca has probably seen his entire terrible body. Nico swallows, tries to ignore the sudden guilt crushing his windpipe. Fails. “Is that any way to greet your dear older sister?” Bianca asks, pretending to be scandalized. 

 

“When my older sister appears in my fucking shower, then yes it fucking is.” Nico replies sarcastically, running a hand through his black hair. 

 

“Language, caro fratello.” Bianca chides gently, ever the eldest sister. Nico merely grunts in reply, squaring his shoulders. There’s a beat of silence as two siblings stand in the shower together. One is breathing, and kind of wishes they weren’t, and the other can’t breathe and desperately wishes they could. It really takes sibling jealousy to a whole new level, doesn’t it?

 

Bianca is the one to break the unintentional standoff. “I missed you.” Bianca offers as a peace treaty, holding her hand out as if Nico could actually take it.

 

Nico looks down, debates on if he should attempt to touch her hand. He knows his hand will just glide through hers, and it’s useless to try. He glances back up, arms remaining at his side. Bianca flinches, sorrow and hurt in her dark eyes. “I miss you too Bianca, but you can’t just pop in whenever you want. It’s not fair.” Nico mumbles, anger beginning to heat his veins. He knows it’s unfair to get angry at her. She didn’t choose to die. But she did, a part of his brain reminds him, and Nico struggles to ignore it. Guess he wasn’t as over it as he thought, huh?

 

“Nico,” Bianca starts, but Nico jerks as if she’s slapped him.

 

“No, you don’t get to say my name like that! Like I’m just your petulant younger brother who is too stupid to know he’s wrong. I’m older, Bianca. I’m the older sibling now, okay? I’m smarter than you. I know fucking math that you don’t. I’ve read more books than you. I’ve  _ lived  _ more than you! You don’t get to act all high and mighty because you chose to be the younger sibling. You chose to fucking die and let me grow older than you, so I don’t want to fucking hear your older sister voice ever again! Jesus, Bianca. I love you, but I’m not your kid brother anymore. I’ve grown up.” Furious tears run down his face, and Nico reaches through her to turn the water on. It hits her ghostly figure full on, and Nico pretends he doesn’t hate himself for the way her anguished eyes remain stuck in his head.

 

**_ii. Percy_ **

 

“Am I dead?”

 

Nico jerks at the sound of Percy’s voice, heart jammed between his teeth. Tears immediately slide down his cheeks. It’s a knee-jerk reaction. “Oh, gods, Percy!” He chokes out, reaching out before pulling his hand away as if burned. Touching him will make Percy dissipate. “Percy, what happened?”

 

Percy laughs, green eyes gray in his ghostly form. It’s bitter, and it makes something burn in the back of Nico’s throat. “I’m really dead. Huh. You know, I never thought it’d feel like this.” He observes, fingers shaking as he drifts closer to Nico. It’s an instinct spirits have. They crowd as close to death as possible before they float downwards to be judged and evaluated.

 

“Like what?” Nico finally brings himself to ask. He wants to hold Percy close. Wants to kiss away his fears and hold him close forever.

 

“Incomplete.” Percy answers. Nico leans away, and heaves in the dirty fucking alley between McDonald’s and some store. Vomit floods his mouth, and Nico’s shoulders shake as he throws up and cries at the same time. He wipes his mouth when he’s done, stomach empty just like his heart.

 

“Percy-” Nico starts to say before Percy starts talking. Babbling really. As if he’s realized he’s on a timer, and he’s only got a few seconds left.

 

“Tell my Mom I won’t be there for Spaghetti Sunday, and that I love her, and I love Paul, and I love her blue cookies, and I’m gonna miss her, and that it didn’t hurt, and that I love her so much. Tell everyone I love them, and I’ll miss them. Oh, shit, Annabeth. Tell her I love her and the baby and I will miss them every second and to keep fighting and I love them and the baby’s name should be sea related because the ocean is awesome and tell Annabeth I love her so goddamn much it feels like I can’t breathe, oh no, don’t tell her that last part-” Percy rambles on, words coming out faster than he can really think them through. His voice stutters over the last part, and then it just stops. It’s like an outside force wrapped its hand around his throat and squeezed so he would shut up. Percy looks at him, and Nico looks back. He keeps looking long after Percy has gone.

 

It’s the ringing of his cell phone that gets him to stop looking. He flips it open, and hits answer. He listens to a voice talk through tears about somebody’s death, and when Percy’s name is finally dropped he clicks end call. He slides it back into his pocket, and goes to buy some vodka.

 

Percy Jackson is a dick for dying, and Nico is a dick for wishing he could’ve just kissed Percy once before he died.

 

Nobody ever said Nico was a good person.

 

**_iii. Hazel_ **

 

Hazel dies in a car crash. It’s funny because Hazel hates cars. She’s never gotten used to them. She hates feeling trapped. She prefers walking or taking the subway because at least that’s underground. The car had flipped, and Hazel had been trapped underneath the car. Her leg had gotten impaled by something, and she had bled out slowly and painfully.

 

Both his sisters die, and Nico wonders if he’ll join them soon and make a full family. That’d be a fucking party. All the family down in the depths of the underworld. Send out the fuckin party favors.

 

“Nico?” Hazel is sitting on the floor beside him. He refuses to look at her, won’t acknowledge that she’s really dead. His hands are in his hair, his face pressed into his knees. “Nico, please look at me.” She requests, and the only reason he turns his head is because he can hear the tears in her voice.

 

Hazel smiles, watery and big. “Thank you.” She murmurs, reaching for his hand. She doesn’t attempt to touch him; knows the rules as well as he does. She just hovers, and Nico can feel the slightest chill in the air because of it.

 

Nico snorts, doesn’t say I love you even though he wants to. “Why did you take a stupid fucking taxi?” He asks because he needs to blame something that isn’t him.

 

“It was the quickest way to get back to Camp.” Hazel answers.

 

“You hate cars.” Nico reminds her, fingers itching to try and touch her. Maybe this time it’ll work. Maybe this time he’ll touch a ghost, and they won’t evaporate as soon as they come in contact with him.

 

“I do.” Hazel responds softly, as if she needs to walk on eggshells around him. She’s dead, and catering to his dumb feelings.

 

Okay, maybe she does need to walk on eggshells around him. “I love you.” Nico tells her despite the lump in his throat and the tears blurring his vision.

 

“I love you too.” Hazel grins, and darts forward to press a kiss to his forehead. She disappears, and Nico pretends he can feel it there for days afterwards.

 

**_iv. Reyna_ **

 

She dies in battle, just like she’d have wanted.

 

Nico skips her funeral, and so does she. She sits beside him for hours. Silently, and without looking at each other.

 

She touches his hand suddenly, a “Goodbye.” spoken softly as she fades away into the underworld.

 

**_v. Frank_ **

 

His magical firewood goes up in flames. He hovers around Nico for awhile, as if Hazel asked him to check up on Nico. It gets annoying to be twenty one years old, and have a fucking babysitter.

 

“Hazel says hi.” Frank informs him one Tuesday evening before he exits through Nico’s front door and fades away into the night.

 

“Hi, Hazel.” Nico says, and takes a shot of vodka. It’s becoming an awful habit.

 

**_vi. Piper, Jason, Leo_ **

 

They all die together. A mission gone wrong. Leo dies first, his abilities not saving him from a dagger to the gut. Jason goes next, fire crawling over his skin like he’s a hamburger and it’s a summer barbeque. Piper’s the last, and the least painful. Her neck had been snapped first, and then the monsters ate her flesh.

 

“Don’t be lame, hang out with new people. Friends, even. Also, we love you, you weird loner.” They laugh, and use their ghostly powers to give him a group hug.

 

Okay, maybe Nico let them hug him.

 

**_vii. Annabeth_ **

 

Annabeth just appears one day, sitting on his bed while Nico rifles through his drawers. “Oh.” Nico says when he finally turns around and notices her.

 

“Oh.” Annabeth echoes, but there’s a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth.

 

“Hey, Annabeth.” Nico waves awkwardly at her, gingerly sitting beside her.

 

Annabeth tilted her head, amusement flickering across her face. “I’m dead, as you’ve surely realized by now.”

 

“Oh, no. I didn’t even notice.” Nico remarks dryly, amusement flashing in his eyes when Annabeth rolls her eyes and huffs.

 

“Shut up. I came to say goodbye.” Annabeth tells him, leaning closer. She doesn’t touch him, doesn’t quite want to leave yet.

 

“Goodbye.” Nico says, unsure what to say. They sit in silence for agonizing minutes before Annabeth reaches out to touch him. Her hand almost touches his shoulder when he blurts it out. “I love him.” His voice is vulnerable, exposed underneath Annabeth’s scrutinizing gaze.

 

“I know.” Annabeth says, and squeezes his shoulder. She disappears, and Nico wonders why he’s the last one left.

 

**_epilogue_ **

 

He marries Will Solace because Percy Jackson is dead, and he can’t have him. He settles for Will, and then Will dies so Nico settles for nothing at all. He’s twenty three and all of his friends are dead.

 

Nico smells like death. It clings to him, it’s marked him. Maybe that’s why everybody he knows is dead, and he’s all alone.

 

He needs a reason, and death has always liked him best.

  
  



End file.
